I just need to get this out there...

My dad moved out of his and my stepmom's house yesterday. He started packing on Friday night, finished Saturday morning, and had all of his things in a storage unit by lunch time. He's living with my Uncle David (his oldest younger brother) and Aunt Claire and my two cousins for now. He driving to Florida this week with Ruby (his dog) and staying for a few weeks with his parents in Tampa. He might be moving down there in the fall after my brother is all moved into college.

This "split" is affecting me a lot less because of the nature of their relationship, but I'm having a really hard time with it. On one hand, I'm really sad for my dad. No one should have to do this once, let alone twice in one lifetime. I'm angry for him. I know how hard he was trying to make it work this time. And I know how much he loves her. But I guess it wasn't meant to be, you could say.

I'm steadily losing faith in the idea of a "lasting" relationship. Honestly, I don't think it can happen anymore. I'm bound and determined to not make the same mistakes my parents made and my dad and stepmother made. But who's to say I won't be in the same boat in 25 years?

I want to get married someday. I want the marriage and the family and the life to share with someone else. But all evidence up to this point in time has me convinced that it doesn't work and never will. What's the point?

“I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it is. I think that’s why she always struggled with God. And I think that’s why she also struggled with love. She couldn’t touch it. She couldn’t hold on to it and make sure it never changed. But sometimes it’s those things you can’t touch that you need to hold on to the most.” ~Carrie Ryan

“My dear, you don’t seem to realize that all there is in life is love. That’s all there is. Money doesn’t matter, what you own doesn’t matter, how old you are, who your friends are, what you accomplish in life, means nothing. The only thing worth anything is love. Love is what makes our time on Earth worth something. And you know something else? Love, true love, is rare. It doesn’t happen very often. Most people spend their lives searching for it and never find it.” ~Nellie Montgomery

"Its Saint Patty's Day, everyone's Irish tonight!"

May the blessing of light be on you--
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire.

This doesn't apply to anyone who might actually read this. But this is something I need to get off my chest.

HOW DARE YOU undermine my career path and degree choice. The way that my program works out, I'll get a B.S. in Secondary Education and a B.A. in Physics. Yes, I think its ridiculous that its just a B.A. for a science degree, but there literally isn't a darn thing I can do about it. It doesn't make me any less intelligent than you. It doesn't mean that you'll do "better" things with your life. It literally just means that I don't have to take THREE EXTRA COURSES THAT I WILL NEVER EVER NEED OR USE AS A TEACHER. I am going to school to be a teacher. That's what I want to do. That's what I've always wanted to do. I love physics and I always will, and I'm making it my goal as a teacher to pass that love onto my future students.

Working for a B.A. in Physics does not make me any less serious about my education. It doesn't make me any less serious about a degree in physics. It doesn't make me any less of a student than you.

You are a small minded imbecile if you think that because I won't have a B.S. in Physics I won't be able to do anything with my career. Also, while I'm on this rant about you, screw you for being a small minded, imbecilic, sexist pig. We have three classes together this semester and will have multiple over the next few years, I'm doing exponentially better than you in every single one of these classes (go figure, trying actually helps) and you STILL FIND IT NECESSARY to make sexist and rude comments to me about being a woman in an intense physics program.

AGH.

“To live is to choose but to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go… and why you want to get there.” ~Kafi Arrar

Nothing like crappy class to make you feel like a complete and total idiot.