29!

Day 29 of the 30 Day Challenge:
Well, I'm making up my own post here. The whole purpose of this was to get me writing (something... anything...) every day. I recently came across the television show from the 80s called The Wonder Years. I'd never heard of it, nor had I ever seen any of it. But I started reading about it and it looks like a really cute show. Unfortunately, none of the seasons have been released on DVD, so I can't watch them anywhere. But I've found a bunch of quotes taken from the show over the course of its airing, and I really like them.

In your life you meet people, some you never think about again, some you wonder what happened to them, there are some that you wonder if they ever think about you and then there are some you wish you never had to think about again … but you do.

There was a time when the world was enormous, spanning the vast, almost infinite boundaries of your neighborhood – the place where you grew up, where you didn’t think twice about playing on someone else’s lawn … and the street was your territory that occasionally got invaded by a passing car. It was where you didn’t get called home until after it was dark. And all the people, and all the houses that surrounded you were as familiar as the things in your own room. And you knew they would never change.

I’m young, I live in a house my father owns, in a bed my father bought. Nothing is mine except my heart and my fears and my growing knowledge that not every road is gonna lead home anymore.

When you’re a little kid, you’re a little bit of everything: artist, scientist, athlete, scholar … sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up one by one. I guess we all have one thing we regret giving up, one thing we really miss … that we gave up because we were too lazy or we couldn’t stick it out or because we were afraid.

Day 28 :)

Ahh, now I'm back on track.
Day 28 of the 30 Day Challenge: 100 Truths

1. Real name: Meagan Elizabeth Collins
2. Nickname: Megs, Collins, Fishie
3. Zodiac Sign: Gemini
4. Male or female: Female
5. Elementary School: Benefield Elementary until third grade, then Simpson Elementary

6. High School: Norcross High School
7. College: College of Charleston
8. Hair color: Brown
9. Tall or short: Tallish

10. What is your favorite month? October

11. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
2. Phone or Camera: Phone
13. Health freak?: Kind of?
14. Orange or Apple: Orange!
15. Do you have a crush on someone?: You could call it that.

16. Eat or Drink: Eat
17. Piercings: One in each ear.
18. Pepsi or Coke: Coke, but I don't actually drink much soda.

HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane: Yep
20. Been in a relationship: Yep
21. Been in a car accident: Yep
22. Been in a fist fight: Haha kind of? Me versus wall.

23. First piercing: Ears
24. First best friend: Oliver
25. First award: Girl Scout Bronze Award
26. First time visiting Disney World? Oh jeeze, its been atleast thirteen years
27. First word: Dog

29. Last person you talked to in person: Ashleigh
30. Last person you texted: Matt
31. Last person you watched a movie with: Me, myself, and I
33. Last movie you watched: Phantom of the Opera
34. Last song you listen to: Crash by Dave Matthews
35. Last thing you bought: Gas for the car
36. Last person you hugged: Mom

FAVORITE:
37. Food: Vegetables
38. Drinks: Water, Sweet Tea, Hot tea, juice.
39. Bottoms: Jeans or leggings
40. Flower: Daisy :)
41. Animal: Dog
42. Colors: Blue and green
43. Movies: Too many to list. Good ones though!
44. Subjects: Physics and Calculus!

(Put an X in the brackets if yes)
45. [x] fallen in love with someone.
46. [x] celebrated Halloween.
47. [x] had your heart broken.
48. [] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone.
49. [] had someone question my sexual orientation.
51. [x] Been depressed
52. [x] Been betrayed.
53. [x] did something I regret.
54. [x] broke a promise.
55. [x] hid a secret.
56. [x] pretended to be happy.
57. [x] met someone who changed your life.
58. [x] pretended to be sick.
59. [x] left the country.
60. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it.
61. [x] cried over the silliest thing.
62. [x] ran a mile.
63. [x] went to the beach with your best friend.
64. [x] got into an argument with your friends.
65. [] hated someone.
66. [] stayed single for a whole year

CURRENTLY:
67. Eating: Nothing, but I'm hungry
68. Drinking: Water
69. Listening to: Phantom of the Opera movie in the background
70. Sitting/Laying: Sitting on my bed
71. Plans for today: Bah
72. Waiting for: Winter break

YOUR FUTURE:
73. Want kids? Yep
74. Want to get married? Yep
75. Career: Teaching

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?:
76. Lips or eyes? Eyes
77. Shorter or taller? Taller
78. Romantic or spontaneous? Both!
79. Legs or face? Face
81. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship
82. Looks or personality? Both are important, but personality SHOULD matter more

HAVE YOU EVER:
83. Lost glasses/contacts: Quite a few times
84. Snuck out of a house: Heh. Yeah.
85. Held a gun/knife for self defense: Nope
86. Killed somebody: Shhh. (Nope)
87. Broken someone's heart: Yeah
88. Been in love: Mmhmm
89. Cried when someone died: Oh yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself: Most days
91. Miracles: Yep
92. Love at first sight: Eh. No.
93. Heaven: Or something like it.
94. Santa Claus: I wish.
95. Sex on the first date: Trashy.
96. Kiss on the first date: If it feels right.

TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yerp
98. Do you know who your real friends are? Most days
99. Do you believe in God? Always.
100. Post as 100 truths? Nope!

Massive Catchup!

Oh goodness. What a wonderful vacation :) Time for massive catchup on the 30 Day Challenge.

Day 24 of the 30 Day Challenge: Something you could never get tired of doing.
Reading. I'll never tire of it. Some people are bored by books and reading. Not me, though. There's an Emily Dickinson poem that states "There is no frigate like a book/ to take us lands away". I think that pretty much sums it up. I read because it takes me to other worlds, other situations, and other people. Sometimes its nice to escape reality for a while.

Day 25 of the 30 Day Challenge: What's in your purse?
-Wallet (with a driver's license, insurance card, and student ID)
-house keys (to my house here at school and my house in Georgia)
-granola bar (incase get hungry)
-chapstick (I never leave the house without it)
-small notepad
-pen and pencil

Day 26 of the 30 Day Challenge: A problem that you've had.
Agh. I stress way too much for my own good. My friends here tease me about it, but its a bit of a problem. I stress over little things that I honestly have no control over. I'm working on it. But its a slow process. I need to learn not to stress about the big picture. Planning ahead is never a bad thing, but there is a right way to do it. Not stressing over the things I have absolutely no control over is not the way to do it. So, I take everything in baby steps. Just one day or one week at a time. I have plans for the next few months, but they'll fall into place when they're supposed to.

Day 27 of the 30 Day Challenge: Something that you miss.
I miss how simple high school felt. Making friends was easy- you were surrounded by the exact same people every single day. Getting good grades was easy- you went to the same class every day for an hour and your teachers actually cared about you doing well. Dating was easy(-ier)- you saw the person everyday and chances are, they lived five minutes from you. I love college, don't get me wrong. I'm having an amazing time and Charleston is such a great city to be in. I wouldn't change any aspects of my life for anything. But sometimes, everything is just so complicated.

23!

Day 23 of the 30 Day Challenge: Someone who fascinates you and why?
This is completely and totally random, but kind of cool at the same time. As well as a bit creepy, but it works. There was this kid in my physics class last year. He was wicked smart, but really grungy looking. He always wore the same thing: sneakers, jeans, and the same yellow/beige hoodie every single day. To be perfectly honest, it didn't seem like he showered. Ever. And then one day, I think it was the day of our final exam, he showed up and no one recognized him! He was clean shaven, had gotten a haircut, and was still wearing jeans but they were clean and he had on a nice button down shirt. He looked good! He aced his final like everyone thought he would, and then we went on winter break. He's in my physics class againt this semester since there is only one section of this specific class offered, and he looks exactly the same as he did on the final last year: really put together. I don't know what happened or what someone said to him or what realization he had, but (appearance wise) he pulled himself together and started dressing like a college kid. It was kind of cool :) It gave me hope that someday I'll learn how to not dress like a fifteen year old girl, haha.

Day 22!

Agh this week is off to a fantastic start! I love having good Mondays.

Day 22 of the 30 Day Challenge: How have you changed in the past two years?
Oh where do I even start. I think that people do so much maturing and growing up their freshmen year of college. I'm more mature and more level headed. I've become a bit more realistic and definitely more practical, but not at the loss of my playfulness and tendency to dream big. Two years ago today, I was a senior in high school. I was in love with a guy, had no idea where I was going to college or what I wanted to study, and all I really cared about was music and band and color guard and whether or not I was getting along with my parents. Things are a lot different now. I chose a college (obviously). I've chosen a course of study. I know where I want to be in five years. I know what I want to do with my life. I've grown up exponentially over the past two years. College and the experiences you deal with, the people you meet, and the circumstances you put yourself in force you to become a mature individual, very quickly.

November 21!

This truly has been a fantastic weekend :)

Day 21 of the 30 Day Challenge: Tell about one of your favorite tv shows.
I really don't watch much television. It'll be on when I'm in the room working on homework, but I don't pay attention all that much. However, we do watch the VH1 Top 20 Countdown every morning while we're eating breakfast downstairs. There's something about starting your day listening to music that makes waking up so early more enjoyable. We watch Grey's Anatomy every Thursday night (I know, I know, typical girls...). But I like it. Its like brain candy, as my mom used to call crappy television and crappy books. Its fine every now and then when you just need to veg but don't make a habit out of watching it.

Catch Up! (Again...)

And, its finally the weekend. Finally.

Day 19 of the 30 Day Challenge: How important is education?
Considering what it is that I want to do with my life, I think education is extremely important. You learn so much more at school than just academics and basic knowledge, if you have the right kind of teacher, that is. In my opinion, teachers should so more than just "teach". They should be advisors, mentors, role models, and those who provide guidance. I wouldn't be the independent, strong minded, and free thinking individual that I am today if it weren't for my teachers (and of course my parents). On the subject of just education though (taking core classes, etc), I think that's crucial as well. Just the basics: learning to read, basic math skills, a knowledge of general history, they're so important to being an active member of our society today. I have two goals in life and they both pertain to education: Change the way that curriculum and academic standards are created and acted upon. Work with the education systems in an impoverished country so that kids everywhere can receive the same quality of education as everyone else. Or something like that.

Day 20 of the 30 Day Challenge: Tell your 3 favorite girl names, 3 favorite boy names, and 3 favorite pet names.
Girl:
1. Audrey
2. Emily
3. Madison
Boy
1. Cameron
2. Johnathon
3. Joseph
Pet (they're all the names of my pets, haha)
1. Gypsy
2. Lexi
3. Daisy

Day 18.

This week has been saying "screw you" to me all week long. The week needs to be over, the weekend needs to be here now, and Thanksgiving Break needs to start as soon as possible. I'm exhausted, all the time. Because I stay up till 2am every night studying. Its getting old. I need a break. Please.

Day 18 of the 30 Day Challenge: Your beliefs. State them.
There are very few things that I can honestly say that I believe in one hundred percent. Well, to be honest, there are three things. And that's it.
1. I believe in love. I believe love can change your life. I believe that love transcends all other emotions. I believe that love is the one pure, unadulterated, positive emotion left in the world. I believe that everyone finds love sometime in their life. I also believe that love can last a life time.
2. I believe in God. I really don't have a better explanation than that. I believe in God.
3. I believe that life goes on. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, life goes on.

Day 17!

I need to stop staying up so late...

Day 17 of the 30 Day Challenge: Tell about your highs and lows of the past year.

The highs- I survived freshmen year of college and am surviving sophomore year. I've figured out what I truly want to do with my life. I've made some amazing friends here at school. I was elected the Vice President of Committees and Chapter Development of Alpha Kappa of Phi Mu here at school. I had an amazing job over the summer and had some great times because of it. I let God have my heart again. Its for good this time, I'm putting my trust in him and just going with whatever happens.

The lows- Second semester of freshmen year was one of the hardest times I've had to go through in a very long time. Unfortunately for me, there aren't many people who know about it or people that I'm willing to talk about it with. I find that people tend to be very judgmental when it comes to certain things and I'm not willing to risk how people perceive me. Regardless, it caused me to grow up and face reality and become a young adult, which may not necessarily be a bad thing.

Day 16!

Day 16 of the 30 Day Challenge: What are you views on mainstream music?
Well, to be perfectly honest, there are a lot of songs that have gone "mainstream" that I like quite a bit. Back home, I would have defined mainstream as music that was played all the time on the radio until people got sick of it. Since I'm not driving and don't get in a car except for once a month to go grocery shopping, we don't listen to the radio here much. But there are a lot of popular songs that I like a lot. They're catchy and fun to listen to. Katy Perry, Christina Perri, and a few other artists are some that I've grown to like. But at the same time, I still listen to Linkin Park from the 90s and the first CDs that the Goo Goo Dolls and Switchfoot ever released. And still, every instrumental, classical, "band" piece of music is in my iTunes. I download soundtracks to movies like Inception, Meet Joe Black, and Titanic. I have my own taste in music. Josh Grobin, Damien Rice, and Matt Nathanson will always be some of my favorites. I don't mind mainstream music, some of it is quite good. But I will forever have my own (very scattered) taste in music.

Double Trouble!

I'm going to do days fourteen and fifteen since I'm technically late on the 14th.

Day 14 of the 30 Day Challenge: Your earliest memory.
The earliest memory I can honestly think of is from when we lived in New Jersey. It had just snowed and we were sledding in the park a few blocks from my house. My brother was maybe six or seven months old, I was a few months away from turning three. We spent hours in the park, sledding and playing in the snow. There are pictures of us sledding, they're precious. We're so tiny its almost hard to believe that was close to eighteen years ago.

Day 15 of the 30 Day Challenge: What kind of person are you attracted to?
(Happy Hump Day of the Month!)
Someone who can make me laugh.
Someone who is an individual.
Someone who is independent but okay trusting in someone.
Someone who can be open with me.
Someone who lets me be myself.
Someone who can laugh at themselves.
Someone who presents themselves well.
Someone who uses correct grammar (I'm a freak, I know).
Someone who can draw me out of my semi-introvertive shell.
Someone who isn't afraid to be completely themselves around me.

Day 13 :)

Fun fact- thirteen is my favorite number. There is actually a story as to why this is my favorite number. It was my first day of kindergarten and the first time I was riding a school bus. All of the kids sitting around me were talking about their "favorite" and "lucky" numbers and I decided that I needed one too. So I looked around and picked the first number I saw- my bus number (the number that was laminated and displayed while at the elementary school so the students could find their proper bus). My bus number was 13 while I was in elementary school, and ever since then, its been my "favorite" number.

Day 13 of the Thirty Day Challenge: Tell about somewhere you'd like to move or visit.
One of my dreams is to hike the Appalachain Trail from start to finish, all the way from Georgia to Maine. We've already hiked all of the section of the AT that is in Georgia, but not at the same time. My brother and I have started planning our trip, the summer after he graduates college (or the summer before), he and I are going to fly up to Maine in the middle of May and work our way back to Georgia. We should be back sometime in July, probably close to the end of the month. We've been talking about doing this ever since we were kids and went on our first backpacking trip together. I'm so excited for it to actually happen :) This isn't really a move or a visit, but we'll be "moving" our way down the Appalachian Trail and "visiting" new sites every day. I think it qualifies.

November 12!

Yesterday, I freaked out a little bit. So I prayed a lot, kept to myself, and did a lot of thinking. I'm ok. I'll be ok.

Day 12 of the 30 Day Challenge:
Bullet your whole day
-8:15am Shower
-8:30am Dress
-9:00am Eat Breakfast
-9:45am Walk to Class
-10:00am Calculus 2
-10:50am Walk to Class
-11:00am French 1
-11:50am Walk to Class
-12:00pm Physics 2
-12:50 Walk back Home
-2:00 Go Grocery Shopping
That's all I have planned so far!

Have a good day everyone :)

I have a problem. And I don't know who to talk to about it. Anyone I would talk to about it would more than likely call me crazy and ridiculous and tell me to get over myself. So I'm just going to get it out on here and hope that putting words to it will help.

I don't feel anything anymore. In my heart, in my soul, I don't feel anything. I still have emotions. I get excited and enthusiastic when I talk about the future; what I want to teach, why I want to teach, the changes I want to make to the educational systems of our country. I get really intense when we have conversations about things I'm passionate about- issues with foster care systems, issues in the educational system, issues in politics. But when it comes to certain things, things that normally would make my heart beat out of control, nothing...

I went on a date last night. Just low key, hanging out, going for a walk, that kind of thing. Normally being around a guy I'm interested in makes my heart beat out of control and I turn into this silly, goodball of a girl. That used to happen even if I didn't know the guy very well. But it also used to happen after almost a year of dating someone. And now, it doesn't happen anymore. Nothing, not even a feeling of being mildly giddy or nervous. It hasn't happened for a while now. I remember the last time I felt that way. I think part of me is scared I won't ever feel that way again. That's a lie. I'm terrified I won't ever have feelings again.

This is all stupid. I shouldn't be freaked out about this. For a while, I've joked with my friends that I'm cold and heartless because of what I've been through and dealt with. Its a running joke, "Meagan, show some emotion. Meagan, don't be so heartless." But now, I'm afraid we were right.

November 11!

Would everyone take a few moment today and honor those who have served, will serve, and are serving in the United States military? What they are doing for our country is indescribable and I'm so proud of every one of them.

Day 11 of the Thirty Day Challenge:
Put your ipod on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that play.
1. Harder to Breathe- Maroon 5
2. The Blowers Daughter- Damien Rice
3. Your Song- Elton John
4. One Sweet World- Dave Matthews Band
5. Better Days- Goo Goo Dolls
6. Heartbreak World- Matt Nathanson
7. Seventeen Forever- Metro Station
8. What a Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong
9. Secret Smile- Rascal Flatts
10. Hear You Me- Jimmy Eat World

Its November 10th!

We are officially a third of the way through November. How is everyone's month going? Going ok? Good, that's what I want to hear.

Day 10- Discuss your first love and your first kiss.
My first kiss was, to be totally cliche, perfect. Its the first one. There aren't any precedents, none before it for you to judge it by. It was sweet and adorable and unexpected and perfect. That's all I can really say about it. My first love was different. It started building months before it actually happened. There was a lot of heartbreak and a lot of tears before we finally figured out what we wanted. And then we were together for over a year. The ending was rough, as most if not all endings are, but we survived it and we survived each other. The middle though, that was the amazing part. We started as friends, then did the whole "I like you but don't know what to do about it" phase, then got into the "okay will you go out with me" phase which was quickly followed by "oh my goodness you have to meet my family now, this can go nowhere good". But what started out as "hey I kinda like you" turned into "wow I really like you a lot" which turned into "i love you". Plain and simple. And perfect. You don't ever forget your first love. I'll never forget mine. And I'll never regret it either. I've been in love three times. I'm going for a fourth, but that's it. After the fourth, I'm done. The first was perfect, in the "first love" kind of way. The second was, well to be honest, crazy. We were two crazy kids who were crazy about one another and didn't care what anyone else thought about it. It was insane and crazy and amazing and the passionate "I literally can not get enough of you" and heartbreaking when it ended. Parts of me are still dealing with it. The third time, well, this is the complicated one. I didn't want to love him. I was content with just liking him a little bit. But he damn well had to wiggle his way into my life in ways I didn't think were possible. So I fell for him. Hard. This was someone I wanted in my life for a long time. And I let myself love him, even though he didn't think he deserved anyone's love. He didn't know I loved him, and he doesn't know to this day. One day, he'll figure it out, and he'll let himself love someone back. I think there's someone else out there for me. (I hope there is.) But a person can only take so much.

Day 9!

Day nine of the thirty day challenge!

The challenge: Name your favorite movie and why it is so important to you?
This would have to be Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams. The basic story of that of a professor (Williams) who begins teaching a class on literature and poetry at an all boys boarding school. In the first lesson he teaches, he instructs his students to physically tear out the introduction to the textbook they are required to read (it has a "formula" for interpreting the meaning and worth of poetry and Williams' character disagrees with this method). Williams' character inspires free thought and pushes his students to develop their own ideas based on their own experiences. He is an inspiring teacher who greatly influences not only his student's education, but the reat of their lives. When I first saw this movie, I was in middle school and all I really took from it was how great of a story it was. But every time I watch it, I learn something new about education and the reason WHY education is so important. Its inspiring, how influential Williams' character is. I hope that I can be half the educator he is. I want to be able to inspire my students like that.

Day 8!

I'm back on track.
Day 8 of the Thirty Day Challenge: Tell about a moment where you felt most satisfied with your life.

That would have to be in the last week, to be perfectly honest. I sat down and started figuring out what I wanted to do with my life and what I wanted to get out of it. And I know that what I want to do is going to help people. I'm going to be a positive influence on someone's life. I'm going to make a difference. So I'm satisfied with where my life is going! :)

Catch Up!

So... I missed days six and seven; we are now on day eight. I've been sick all weekend (unfortunately) and finally feel well enough to sit up for more than ten minutes without getting dizzy. Yay for having the flu (not). Here we do!

Day 6: Write thirty interesting facts about yourself.
1. I hate snakes.
2. The show 16 and Pregnant makes me uncomfortable.
3. I moved three times before fourth grade.
4. My fourth grade teacher and I go to the same church.
5. I'm going pescetarian (sp?). Basically vegetarian, except I eat fish. I think its healthier.
6. We watch the weather channel and Regis and Kelly every morning.
7. We're going to Alaska this summer!!!
8. My favorite holiday is Halloween.
9. I have never seen Alice in Wonderland all the way through.
10. When I was little, I refused to watch Pinnochio and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
11. I read Postsecret religiously.
12. Stumbleupon.com is the best website ever.
13. Fall is my favorite season.
14. I can not stand being cold.
15. Some might call me quirky.
16. I go to school with a girl that I have known since I was six. She is the friend that I have had the longest.
17. I am going to be a physics teacher.
18. I want to join the Peace Corps when I graduate college.
19. Chocolate makes my teeth hurt.
20. I'm a huge history buff, especially about European history.
21. I have bum knees. They're a lot of fun.
22. I wish I had stuck with swimming.
23. I love watching the food network, I wish I was a better cook.
24. If I could sing like Katy Perry, life would be completel.
25. I have only seen two bands in concert- Fall Out Boy and Dave Matthews Band.
26. I do not find Will Farrell funny. At all.
27. There are days when I love living in the sorority house, and days when I hate it.
28. I joined Habitat for Humanity this year- and I'm loving every minute of it.
29. I am a big supporter of the Save the Music campaign.
30. I have a penpal!

Day 7: What is your zodiac sign and do you agree with it?
Gemini! I agree with parts of it.
Active mind.
Verbal and intellectual.
Optimistic.
Social.
Emotionally Detached.
Needs novelty.
Indecisive.
Read more here!

I'll do day eight (so I'll be on track!) when I'm done with class.

"Remember, remember the fifth of November..."

"...gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot." V for Vendetta

Day 5 of the Thirty Day Challenge:
Tell about a time where you thought about ending your life?

I am thankful every day that I have never hit this level of rock bottom. I've been close, I won't deny it. But there has always been someone to pull be out of it and (one time literally) smack some sense into me. Freshmen year was rough. It was the first full year that my parents weren't together and I handled myself badly. I spent the entire summer trying to hold the remainder of my family together that eventually I just lost it. I was a wreck for most of that year and I owe surviving that year to a very special person in my life. Since then, I've never hit that low before. There have been some times when all I want to do is give up and let someone else make the decisions for me. If I stop and think about it, I'm tired all the time. Not just sleepy tired, but tired of how things can be sometimes. I'm tired of having to choose between parents. I'm tired of being the buffer between my parents and between my parents and my brother. I'm tired of literally living a double life. But I don't think about it anymore. I wake up every single day and I deal with it. I push through it. Because I know, that in two and a half very short years, I am going to be on my own and I can CREATE my own life. I can make my life for myself however I see fit. And the fact that I will be living my own life separate from anyone else is what is getting me through these next few years.

A message to ANYONE out there that actually reads this:
Ending your life is not a solution. I've been there, at that rock bottom, and it sucks like nothing else in the world. But I promise you, things get better. Just hang in there, and find someone (anyone) who can be that person for you. The person you call at 2am when you don't think you can make it anymore. The person who is just there for you when you need them most. If you need someone, call me. I'm here, and I've been where you think you are. But I promise that there is hope for you and the life you don't want to live anymore. Remember: You are beautiful and fantastic and wonderful and LOVED. Don't forget that.

Day 4!

Day FOUR of the "Thirty Day Challenge".

What are your views on religion?

This is a question that I've been struggling with for most of my life. I have severe issues with organized religion which is a direct result of the atmosphere I grew up in going to church. My church when I was younger was like a second home to me. But then the rector I grew up listening to retired, our assistant rector took over as interim rector, then he left and a brand new leader was brought in. He essentially tore our church apart and I know we are still struggling to overcome that. Now, I worship on my own schedule. Funnily enough, its usually in the shower when I do most of my praying and reflecting. Its the only time of day that I am completely alone and can be totally silent. Every morning, I pray for my family and my friends collectively. Then I pray for those I know need it most. I pray for those I want to help but can't. I pray for those that I've tried to help and failed. I pray for those who are suffering but also for those that are content. Lastly, I pray for myself, that I may find peace in this crazy and chaotic world and that I may find direction and purpose in my life. Starting every day with my own personal type of worship and religion is what works best for me, and I love it.

Day 3!

Day 3 of a FANTASTIC new month.

The challenge question today: What are your views on drugs and alcohol?

I have a different view on drugs and alcohol that most people have. Maybe its because of what my mother does for a living, or my past experiences with it, or any other number of reasons, but I believe in my logic and I'm sticking to it! I had no experience with any kinds of drugs or alcohol before I came to college. I'll admit it, I drink. Or I used to. Not so much anymore. Last year was a bit of a wake-up call for me, and I don't want to go through that again. I can say though, I will probably drink again. Once I'm 21. I mean, I'm prefectly fine with having a few drinks with friends, if we're at home and there isn't a chance of us going out. But behind closed doors and away from the public. On the subject of other drugs, I will not ever do them. Ever. Never ever ever. If you want to partake in them, go for it, I'm not your mother and I can't control what you do. But even when it comes to smoking cigarettes, I don't want to be around it, I don't want to be around anyone when they are doing it, and I don't want anyone to try to pressure me into doing them. The end. That's all!

Day 2!

Day 2 of the Thirty Day Challenge: Where would you like to be in ten years?

Ten years from now, I will be teaching at a low- income, high- poverty urban school here in South Carolina. But between now and then, a lot will happen. Next summer I am planning on spending eight weeks in Africa or India with a program called Cross Cultural Solutions, working with the education systems and in the health clinics. After that, I will enter my senior year of college. I will have two main projects that year- one will be student teaching at a high school here in Charleston, and the other will either be a Bachelor's Essay or a Research Project with a physics professor here at the college. After my senior year of college, I plan on joining the Peace Corps. My plan is to leave in July after I graduate college; I'll be gone roughly 27 months. After I get back, I will find a job teaching high school in South Carolina. Because of the grants I've been given, I have to complete four consequetive years of teaching in a high risk environment in South Carolina within the eight years after I complete my undergraduate studies. I plan on teaching for two years and establishing myself as an educator, and then going back to get a master's degree in education and teaching advocacy.

That's my plan. Its all up in the air still, but this is what I want to do with my life.

Happy November!

Its November. Other than October, November is my favorite month of the entire year. I like October because of Halloween (haha) and because the leaves start changing in North Georgia and its absolutely beautiful. I like November because it means family. My entire family gets together (which partially sucks because both sides of my family hate one another) but the general atmosphere is really nice. I like November in Charleston because that's when the weather here starts to change. Its cool and crisp in the morning and still really nice in the afternoon. I love fall weather :)

For this month, I'm going to be partaking in a "30 Day Challenge". Its just answering questions about myself and my life and it seems really interesting so I'm going to do it.

Day1: Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is going.

I am not currently involved in a relationship and I'm really okay with that. I sat down a few months ago and made a timeline of when I've been involved with a guy and its been pretty consistent over the past three years. But I've been single since February of this year. Honestly, its the longest I've been single since sophomore year of high school. Kind of weird for me isn't it. But to tell you the truth, I'm completely okay with it! Its allowed me to really focus on building strong and meaningful friendships with people. Sure I've met a few guys and things had started to look like they would turn into something more than friendship, but they never did. But like I said before, I'm completely okay with that. Just in the four months that I've been here for my second year of school, my friendships with my sisters in Phi Mu have grown so much stronger than I ever thought was possible. I've started seriously going to church again. Not that being with a guy before had prevented me from going to church, that's not what I mean at all, but I just felt drawn to worship again. It has definitely put everything in perspective for me and I'm definitely becoming a better person. I've never been a "bad" person, but there have been a lot of things I felt the need to improve on and the past six months or so have been beneficial for that. I'll be honest. There are still nights where I get lonely. There are still nights where all I want to do is curl up with someone and watch a movie and just cuddle. So I grab a pillow and my roommates and a cheesy girl movie and we build forts in the living room of the house I'm living in and have a girls night. What I'm doing works for me, and I couldn't be happier. I'd like to meet a guy at some point. I like relationships (especially when they work, haha). But for now, life's great! :)