i joined the "adopt a platoon" program a few weeks ago

it matches you up with a soldier fighting overseas

you're supposed to write to them once a week, just showing support, regardless of whether or not they respond

my soldier- Timothy J. Low, hasn't responded to my letters yet, but i wasn't really expecting a response (i am a total stranger and all)

i got an email today from the "platoon mom", the woman who has organized this program...

Timothy was severely wounded on June 21st.

this is the closest i've ever been to the conflict going on overseas, i don't know anyone who's been deployed, i just know people who are in the training stages of their military career

i feel totally helpless... how do you help someone thousands of miles away?

and maybe, someday, we'll figure all this out

try to put an end to all our doubt

and try to find a way to make things better now

maybe, someday, we'll live our lives out loud

we'll be better off somehow, someday

do ya'll remember the "Now! That's What I Call Music!" CD's? I remember when the first one came out. I was probably 9 or so. Now... they're on "Now! That's What I Call Music 32!" And I feel old. I feel old, and I'm disappointed in the music that kids are allowed to listen to these days. For example...

Lady Gaga- Love Games

Katy Perry- California Girls

Basically anything played on the radio anymore.

I "grew up" (I'm still growing, I know) to my parents playing KC and the Sunshine Band, Dave Matthews, Prince, and Michael Jackson. Granted, a lot of Prince and Michael Jackson's stuff was a tad inappropriate (tad, meaning quite a bit) at times, but still. It really bugs me, the music that kids listen to these days.

Gah. Listen to me. In 50 years, I'm going to be one of those grumpy old cermudgins (my dad's word, synonymous with "old person") who yells at kids to "TURN THAT RACKET DOWN! THAT'S NOT MUSIC!". Goodness. Hope these next 50 years go by slowly.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all of the dad's out there. Father's Day is a day to celebrate everything that it means to be a "father" to someone.

I have a wonderful father. He's helped me to grow into the successful, independent young woman I am today.

This Father's Day, however, is different from past ones. This year marks the first year I have not seen my dad on Father's Day, but it will probably not be the last. This year, he is on vacation. With his wife, my stepmother. And, with her two sons, my step brothers.

I had a point when I started writing this. But now I honestly don't remember what it is. I wish I could see my dad today. He moved on. Met someone else. Got married to someone else. Is a father figure to someone else. But he was my dad first. In an entirely selfish way, that gives me the right to see him on Father's Day over anyone else.

I remembered. My point is, I'm angry. I'm angry with my father. I'm angry that he chose to be away from his two children on Father's Day. I'm angry.

I am turning into a "workaholic"...

...and I'm completely okay with that. I was so worried about coming home this summer; I wasn't sure what I was going to do for three months. So I got a job. I figured it would be like every other job I've ever had- long hours, mediocre pay, slightly crazy bosses, etc.

As it would turn out, it turned out to be so much more than just a job. I've made friends and established relationships with people at a minimum of ten years older than me. I didn't realize there would be such a large age gap at work... we're all at such different points in our lives. Charronda is in her 30's and has three kids, just like Jinny. But Jinny seems light years younger than Charronda. Brian, 29, has been dating Tanya for quite some time and she just turned 23. They're not in school. Kelly just graduated GA State and is taking a year off before going to law school. Branden is 28 and living with his girlfriend. I'm 19, and a sophomore in college.

We're all at such different point in our lives, its amazing to me that we can all get along so well. But, just tonight, I stayed a while after work to hang out with Dre and Brian (both well in their 20's and 30's) and talk. They had a few too many drinks, I had a few too many sweet teas (haha), and I can honestly say that I haven't laughed that hard in MONTHS. I laughed so hard, my chest still hurts. It felt good to laugh like that.

I always figured the next time I had a good laugh would be with my closest friends or something like that. Don't get me wrong, I laugh. I laugh a lot. But this was the first deep, intense, bring tears to your eyes you're laughing so hard laugh I've had in forever. I think my heart actually feels lighter tonight because of it; less heavy.

i wish i could take credit for this, but i can't

Dear Anyone with Low Self- Esteem,

You are positively beautiful.

I love your freckles on your nose, they bring out the colors in your eyes. Your hair frames your face perfectly. Your laugh is contagious and you always make me smile. Those scars on your knees? They show me you've fallen.

That sparkle in your eyes when you smile? They show me you've picked yourself up. Your smile is drop dead gorgeous, wear it more often. Who cares if you have acne? Who cares if you're overweight or underweight, tall or short, tan or pale, A cup or D cup.

All that matters is that someone thinks you're beautiful just the way you are and that someone is me. I wish you could love yourself the way I love you, the way your family loves you, the way your friends love you.

The way God loves you.

I am a Lady.

too much

Another little boy that I know, about 7 years old, has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I didn't know you could diagnose children that young. The medications prescribed as "anti-psychotics" aren't safe for children with still developing brains. It'll mess their brain chemistry up terribly. This is too much, guys.

miles

Yesterday, I found out a little boy I've known since birth (I've known his family for years) has cerebral palsy. He will be in leg braces for the rest of his life and is very susceptible to seizures and spastic motor movements. He will have issues with cognition and communication forever. Its a terrible disease, and his family is struggling.

Miles, the little boy, is the youngest of six children, followed by Mollie, Max, Maggie, Morgan, and Mitchell. (Yes, all their names start with M.) I saw their mother and father yesterday for a while. Knowing how stressed out they must be, I offered to babysit one night this week when I'm not working. I've babysat for all six kids before and have some experience working with specials needs children as well.

When I see things like this, its when I start to become angry at God again. They are a good family. They love their kids and do everything they can to support them. The parents love one another very much. The kids get a long (as much as kids under the age of 12 can). Miles is an adorable, innocent, little boy. So how can this be happening to them?