I just need to get this out there...

My dad moved out of his and my stepmom's house yesterday. He started packing on Friday night, finished Saturday morning, and had all of his things in a storage unit by lunch time. He's living with my Uncle David (his oldest younger brother) and Aunt Claire and my two cousins for now. He driving to Florida this week with Ruby (his dog) and staying for a few weeks with his parents in Tampa. He might be moving down there in the fall after my brother is all moved into college.

This "split" is affecting me a lot less because of the nature of their relationship, but I'm having a really hard time with it. On one hand, I'm really sad for my dad. No one should have to do this once, let alone twice in one lifetime. I'm angry for him. I know how hard he was trying to make it work this time. And I know how much he loves her. But I guess it wasn't meant to be, you could say.

I'm steadily losing faith in the idea of a "lasting" relationship. Honestly, I don't think it can happen anymore. I'm bound and determined to not make the same mistakes my parents made and my dad and stepmother made. But who's to say I won't be in the same boat in 25 years?

I want to get married someday. I want the marriage and the family and the life to share with someone else. But all evidence up to this point in time has me convinced that it doesn't work and never will. What's the point?

“I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it is. I think that’s why she always struggled with God. And I think that’s why she also struggled with love. She couldn’t touch it. She couldn’t hold on to it and make sure it never changed. But sometimes it’s those things you can’t touch that you need to hold on to the most.” ~Carrie Ryan