please just help me let all of this go
i don't want to deal with it anymore
time to move on

Shattered

And I've lost who I am
And I can't understand
Why my heart is so broken
Rejecting your love
Lifeless words carry on

But I know
All I know
Is that the end's beginning

Who I am from the start
Take me home to my heart
Let me go
I will run
I will not be silenced

All this time spent in vain
Wasted years
Wasted gain
All is lost
Hope remains
And this war's not over

There's a light
There's a sun
Taking all the shattered ones
To the place we belong
And his love wil conquer

DEAR UNIVERSE,

IF YOU COULD JUST CHILL THE FRICK OUT FOR LIKE TWO DAYS SO I CAN GET MY HEAD BACK ON STRAIGHT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I PROMISE I'LL STOP ACTING LIKE A CRAZY MANIAC IF YOU STOP SPINNING AT A THOUSAND MILES AN HOUR. K, THANKS. I APPRECIATE IT.

LOVE,
MEAGAN

P.S. THIS WHOLE "GLOBAL WARMING" THING? IT WOULD BE REALLY COOL IF THAT COULD DISAPPEAR, TOO.

"I became insane. With horrible intervals of sanity."
-Edgar Allan Poe

As creepy and weird and sick as the guy was, Poe was an absolutely genuis when it came to words.

Just thinking about The Telltale Heart that we read in middle school gives me chills.

Listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VAkOhXIsI0

Read and Look at this:

and, know how much I love you :)

Be happy. Be hopeful. Be lovely.

Its been an... eventful few days here.

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday.

They didn't start hurting until today.

Anesthesia wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be, but I swear I thought I was going to die for a few minutes while it kicked in.

Percocet sucks. Big time. I don't like the fuzzy feeling that comes with it. Back to motrin for me.

My room mate from last year isn't coming back to Charleston next year. She's transferring to an in-state school. I love the girl to death and I will support her with anything that she does. But dear God am I going to miss her. She was my first college friend. Heck, we lived together for almost 9 months. You don't connect with someone like that every day. I know we'll stay in touch. I'm just worried about the almost inevitable "falling apart" that happens when distance separates two people.

I don't usually post two in one day, but I'm reading Pat Conroy's South of Broad, and this quote struck me as heartbreakingly beautiful and I wanted to put it out here.

"I collapse into a leather couch, close my eyes, and let myself drift into the luxurious easement of the library with its tiers of well- selected books. The smell of leather consoles me, and it feels like I have rested my head inside a well- oiled baseball glove. As fas as I know, no one has ever mentioned my brother's name in my mother's presence for years. Even now, in the toxic wake of this evening's passage, when I try to conjure up an image of my brother's face, I can summon only a ghostly, featureless portrait, half- sketched in sepia. All I remember is that Stephen was golden and beautiful, and that our losing him drove a stake into the heart of my family. Somehow we managed to survive that day, but none of us ever experienced the deliverance of recovery. I realize you can walk away from anything but a wounded soul."

Pat Conroy is a literary genius.

that last post was kind of trippy... that's what i get for staying up way too late and getting up way too early, i lose all basic grammar, spelling, and motor skills.

i don't think i say it enough, but i love you guys very much. yes, you. you know who you are :)

honestly, i feel like i've been going nonstop since i got home. i got two days off when i got home, then i got a job and started working... haven't had more than one full day off in almost two months.

but. this week. i'm getting wednesday, thursday, AND friday off! yippee!

except... i'm getting my wisdom teeth out. job. so i'll be off work, at home, chilling, and most like heavily medicated. fantastic.

happy fourth!