DEAR UNIVERSE,

IF YOU COULD JUST CHILL THE FRICK OUT FOR LIKE TWO DAYS SO I CAN GET MY HEAD BACK ON STRAIGHT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I PROMISE I'LL STOP ACTING LIKE A CRAZY MANIAC IF YOU STOP SPINNING AT A THOUSAND MILES AN HOUR. K, THANKS. I APPRECIATE IT.

LOVE,
MEAGAN

P.S. THIS WHOLE "GLOBAL WARMING" THING? IT WOULD BE REALLY COOL IF THAT COULD DISAPPEAR, TOO.