Its almost amusing how, two years after high school is over and done with, you can be in a room with the same people you were close with in high school and everything is different. That's how tonight was. The core group of people I was closest with got together for a "reunion" of sorts. It was fun, mostly. Its just interesting how different things are now, some of us are almost strangers. Someone I once loved, someone I used to really like, my best friend in the world, someone I am closer with now than I ever used to be, someone I've always been close with; we all have so much history with one another. History that is never spoken of. We don't talk of the times when he and I loved one another, but everyone knows about them. We don't talk of the times when she and I used to be close, but everyone knows they used to be there. We don't talk of the times when those two people were so happy together, but everyone remembers them. We don't talk of the past, all it does it open up old wounds (some barely healed, some heavily scarred) and cause people to question everything that once was. We don't talk of the future, because no one really knows what will happen to us in the end. We don't really talk of the present, no one knows what to say about who we are. But i'd be willing to bet that in some alternate universe where everyone always speaks their mind about what's going on and what's happened, we'd all be fighting to be heard over one another's memories and recollections. We'd all be screaming to be heard over one another. I know what I would be saying.
How could I have been so stupid.
How could I have been so naive.
Why did I do that to myself.
Why didn't I believe you when you said __.
Why did I believe you when you said ___.
How would our lives be different now if we could redo those moments we wish we could take back or repeat or do again? Who would I be as a person if I could change just one or two things?
It blows my mind that we can all be in the same room as one another, a room filled with so much history, and not even think twice about it.
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