Today was easily the longest and most terrifying day I have had in almost ten years. Ten years ago was easier, though. I didn't really understand what was going on, all I knew was that mom was sick and she was at the hospital and that I couldn't see her. All the same things happened today, except I understand (medically) what was going on.

Mom had a doctor's appointment today. I knew about it last night. I was concerned, but not really expecting anything out of the ordinary. Then I got a phone call this morning; it was mom, saying they might have found something wrong. One of her pupils was uber dialated, it looked like it was blown. Blown pupils mean aneurysm. Aneurysms are bad. Very bad. She was headed to the hospital for two MRI scans, she told me she would call me when she got the results. If they found anything hinky, they would immediately admit her to the hospital and would take her in to surgery. This is when I started freaking out. I prayed a lot. And freaked out even more. I packed a bag, got my school stuff together, called a friend and asked her to borrow her car, and waited to hear from my mom. If they ended up having to take her into surgery, I was going home, no questions asked.

In the end, it worked out. They didn't find anything hinky on the scans and said she was free to go home. She is going back for more tests later this week though, just for some followup.

I have never been this terrified in my life. I cried a lot. I can't even describe how scared I was. Its so hard being this far away from home and knowing that when I am this far away, there is literally nothing I can do for my family. I hate being this far away and knowing that if something happens to mom, I can't be there in a heartbeat to help her. If she would let me transfer home, I would. Knowing that she might be in the hospital and in surgery and I was close to 6 hours away at a minimum was terrifying.

I don't know what to do. I hate feeling that helpless and not knowing what I am supposed to do. I'm worried something else will happen.