Its November 10th!

We are officially a third of the way through November. How is everyone's month going? Going ok? Good, that's what I want to hear.

Day 10- Discuss your first love and your first kiss.
My first kiss was, to be totally cliche, perfect. Its the first one. There aren't any precedents, none before it for you to judge it by. It was sweet and adorable and unexpected and perfect. That's all I can really say about it. My first love was different. It started building months before it actually happened. There was a lot of heartbreak and a lot of tears before we finally figured out what we wanted. And then we were together for over a year. The ending was rough, as most if not all endings are, but we survived it and we survived each other. The middle though, that was the amazing part. We started as friends, then did the whole "I like you but don't know what to do about it" phase, then got into the "okay will you go out with me" phase which was quickly followed by "oh my goodness you have to meet my family now, this can go nowhere good". But what started out as "hey I kinda like you" turned into "wow I really like you a lot" which turned into "i love you". Plain and simple. And perfect. You don't ever forget your first love. I'll never forget mine. And I'll never regret it either. I've been in love three times. I'm going for a fourth, but that's it. After the fourth, I'm done. The first was perfect, in the "first love" kind of way. The second was, well to be honest, crazy. We were two crazy kids who were crazy about one another and didn't care what anyone else thought about it. It was insane and crazy and amazing and the passionate "I literally can not get enough of you" and heartbreaking when it ended. Parts of me are still dealing with it. The third time, well, this is the complicated one. I didn't want to love him. I was content with just liking him a little bit. But he damn well had to wiggle his way into my life in ways I didn't think were possible. So I fell for him. Hard. This was someone I wanted in my life for a long time. And I let myself love him, even though he didn't think he deserved anyone's love. He didn't know I loved him, and he doesn't know to this day. One day, he'll figure it out, and he'll let himself love someone back. I think there's someone else out there for me. (I hope there is.) But a person can only take so much.